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Post by euphie on Jan 20, 2023 20:57:23 GMT
Cinders is signing up and ya'll can't stop me!
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Post by euphie on Dec 1, 2022 5:50:03 GMT
Barbarous Yearning Wanderer Barb knew he'd done it when Dire stamped his foot, even if the image of the wolf stamping his foot like some indignant pup caused the urge to laugh bubble up in his chest, but he knew it was too serious a moment for laughter especially when the....foot stamp was followed by angry growling and scolding as if no time had passed. It was reassuring in a way, because for all the fighting it seems some things never changed, Barb sassed and Dire raged which meant he endured the whole thing without so much as a flinch for it was business as usual.
"You are mortal Dire, you always have been, and mortals such as us will inevitably make mistakes. It's tragic what happened, but it could have happened to far worse people, if you hadn't been the one to kill her it would have been someone else. Parents are allowed to indulge their children, but overindulgence has consequences, he would not be around forever to protect her and one day she would have mouthed off to the wrong creature. It's a tragedy that it happened while he lived, I don't envy him, but don't ask me to grieve or blame you for what was an inevitability for such a horrible person," Barb had never understood why death erased peoples faults, why just because his cousin was dead Burn had forgotten every awful thing she had ever done, and no matter how much he knew no parent should have to bury their young he could not find an ounce of sympathy for the devil who tormented his childhood.
Not even when asked to by the angel who saved it.
"And you don't have to, you've been alone for a long time after all, I'm sure things like love and companionship feel like foreign concepts. But I'm going to help you remember, I failed when we were younger and before the world could hurt you, but I'm here now and so long as I live you will come to remember these things," his voice was softer once again, rolling onto his stomach now that Dire was no longer towering over him, fully intent on rising up and following him despite how awful this entire interaction would seem to any outsider. He paused briefly at the threat, affection flickering in those eyes bright with fondness, because Dire very easily could kill him and yet Barb didn't mind.
"It would certainly be an interesting twist to our tale, for you to kill me now that I've finally found you, and I don't doubt you mean it. So I won't beg you not to, nor will I run in fear, I'll simply say that if you wish me dead then you may kill me right here and now without objection," he offered, voice full of affection as he once more approached Dire and rolled upon his back as much beneath him as he could manage - which was well considering his small frame, but then his eyes hardened and he looked up at his friend knowing this could very well be his final words.
"But I promise you, if there is a life after this, I will still be around Dire. Distance and time didn't stop me, death won't either, not so long as any part of me still roams this earth,"
Thinking. "Speaking." 557
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Post by euphie on Nov 9, 2022 14:29:24 GMT
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever "I promise, no matter what happens, I won't let them take you,"
It was a sacred vow dammit, she'd make it in blood, later when Kai wasn't so catatonic as to be unable to hear her. It was clear now he was beyond sense, and that was okay, because Cinders had never felt so aware since the day her family was killed and she'd be damned if she let that story repeat. Kai would live on, to be mocked relentlessly by her for pissing himself over this incident, and one day this would all be but a memory because Cinders had decided this was not the end. It was a big vow for such a tiny creature, but it was not the first time she had done something far beyond her age group, and by god it would not be the last.
"You and me against the world Kai," she murmured softly, entirely serious, as he nuzzled closer to her and she accommodated the movement, doing her best to completely surround him with her tiny body. If she wasn't so strung out on protective instinct, the coziness of a good cuddle like this would have her napping, and in the back of her mind some of that desire to never be close to others again weakened and crumbled at this tender reminder of what it was like to have another so warm and soft around her.
Unfortunately duty calls....
Another male, bigger and stronger, came crawling out of the brush and what little ease had entered Cinders rigid frame drained out just as quick. She was not so naive as to think she could win this fight, but she would buy Kai time, fufill her promise to keep him safe and let him live on to be embarrassed by this....even if someone else would have to make him so. A sad thought, because she was extremely fond of him for how little she knew him, but a promise was a promise.
"He's fine, i'm protecting him, against the entire damn world if need be!" she snapped, traitorous tears springing to her eyes as she considered her poor charge, because for the first time in her entire life someone needed her and she would not disappoint. But her rational mind won out, that this adult knew better, and that the best thing for Kai's recovery would be for him to get back to his friends. So she relented, if barely, not truly parting from Kai ever but giving the adult space to approach while also still preparing for a betrayal.
None came though, Kai was carried and she followed, and nothing bad happened despite how she anxiously glanced all around as if it would suddenly fall apart. She hadn't known her long, but seeing Timber came with a crush of relief so strong she wanted to cry, and while she didn't dare leave Kai to approach her the words rushed out too fast for her to stop them.
"Mama!" Everybody wants to rule the world
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Post by euphie on Nov 9, 2022 14:04:12 GMT
Barbarous Yearning Wanderer Barb wouldn't pretend it wasn't hard to stand here, hell he was literally on the edge of sobbing to Dire's retreating back, and yet even as every attempt he made seemed to get swatted away he couldn't find it in himself to give up. Blackburn, Dire, whatever name this creature wanted to call himself he was still so dearly precious to Barb. And somewhere that love was returned, even if not conciously, because if it was not by now he'd have certainly been deemed too annoying to live. But that only helped a little, emotionally raw as Barb was, to continue to bare himself heart and soul to someone who wouldn't even attempt to engage with him. He hadn't expected the same enthusiasm, but something surely, something more than stony silence or condemnation.
So Barb would simply have to take away Dire's excuse to be silent.
At any other time, Barb would have laughed at the look of sheer offense and the curse that left Dire's maw, but right now he was busy making one final desperate move. To try and connect, to show his words were as real and true as the two of them, even though he also knew doing so would likely not feel the greatest in the short term....because Dire had never been the most receptive to affection. Always a much more "I'll slay your enemies and lay them at your feet" type. But, even as he was manhandled, some rebellious corner of his mind felt this was the closest they'd ever been....and he'd certainly torn the lid off of Dire's emotions.
"I will mention her and curse her until the day I die, I have that right, she made my life - our lives - miserable and her death doesn't erase that. Just as your killing by accident doesn't erase who you were before that. The old man may be traumatized, but he was indulgent to his daughter and he paid the price, if it wasn't you then someone someday would have put her in her place and things would have all gone down the same," Barb was on his back now, once Dire released him, not so much out of submission but because he wanted to be able to look at his friend as he spoke. And there was no fear in his eyes for the aggression Dire showed, not a single ounce of damn self preservation in the face of a beast who already had made his muzzle throb, just those patient eyes still wet and searching - as they always would be.
"Love makes fools of us all, Dire, and I will always love and care for you,"
Thinking. "Speaking." 540
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Post by euphie on Sept 25, 2022 9:43:44 GMT
Barbarous Yearning Wanderer None of this was anything like Barb had imagined, but that was a fate he had accepted in all the years he'd spent looking, because he hadn't known his poor friend was exiled until it was too late. He had gotten ahead, and Barb had lost him, and it was a rather lame claim to only find him so many years later. But just because fate wasn't always kind didn't mean he had to roll over and accept it! He would defy it at every turn, in fact, with every cell in his body. It was never too late, not so long as they both drew breath, and even in the face of his old friends mocking and acidity Barb stood determined.
"You chose that life! And don't you for a second try to blame me for that! I left as soon as i'd heard, from someone else mind because you never said goodbye, and I chased after you as fast and as quick as I could! Am I supposed to be blamed because you didn't want me along!? I get it, we were friends out of the fact your cousin bullied us both, but I loved you dammit! I loved you enough to chase you half way across this godforsaken world, to shame our pack for turning their back on you, and to not give a shit if I died or worse just on the off chance I could keep you from being alone! I will never forgive myself for not catching up to you, for getting lost and not being able to find you, for not being enough for you to just fucking wait for me to come find you!" Barb was crying, there were tears and a tightness in his chest that demanded sobbing to relieve, but he was being stubborn here and refusing to give in to the weakness that clawed at him. Bad enough the emotions were poring out, all the bitterness and guilt and self hate for his own failures and short comings, especially in the face of a beloved friends indifference!
Of course, then his friend tried to be dramatic, leave with some dramatic one liner and drag his carcass off. And Barb knew how to stop him, not that it was smart or wise, but he had a plan and quickly enacted it by simply closing the distance and raising a paw to knock the prey out of Dire's mouth. Fully prepared for retaliation, if anything relaxing his body so the impact wouldn't hurt, but never once doing anything but meeting his friends (and yes he still saw him as such!) gaze with a fire both determined and old as the wolf himself.
"You can't hurt me into running away and giving up on you, I already hurt myself with my own hatred for my failings every day, and whether it takes one meetings or one thousand," the anger had left his voice, as had the desperation, there was nothing now but determination. And as if to seal the vow, since at this point he was clearly just going for it, he leaned forward to give his friend an affectionate nip to the cheek.
Goodness knows he was clearly lacking for affection!
Thinking. "Speaking." 540
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Post by euphie on Aug 29, 2022 22:35:27 GMT
Barbarous Yearning Wanderer It had been years, and the terms of their parting were hardly usual, Barb may be naïve but he wasn't dumb. He could only imagine the thoughts Blackburn might have internalized, the guilt he carried, Barb certainly shed no tears for Talianne but it had been Blackburns own cousin. To carry that sort of wound with you, day after day, and not a friend in sight to share the burden with. It was isolating, suffocating, and so Barb was prepared for whatever change it had wrought in his friend so long as his friend existed to be found.
And, for all the heckles and attempts at intimidation, Barb had found him.
"Well I'll say, you're definitely not his size anymore, but it's been four years and I'm not going to be deterred just because you decided to change your name!" in some corner of his mind Barbs animal instinct was screaming to get angry or run, but Barb refused to listen, his mind was the one thing he had of his own and so the wolf had long ago ensured he was the one in control of it rather than something finicky like emotions or instincts.
"I don't know what your name is, but I know what you've been through, and I came to make sure you didn't have to do it alone," a stubborn declaration, even in the face of Blackburn all but refusing to acknowledge their past, but Barb had not spent four years searching for this brat to be turned away by harsh words.
"So, whatever it is you call yourself now, I brought you something to maybe help if you ever miss home too much. There's more back in my cave, plants and mementos from every place i've been, I wish I had been there with you but bringing you to it works just as well," Barb broke eye contact for a minute, just to slide the makeshift necklace of dry fireweeds off his neck and at Blackburns feet, before lifting his head to look up at his friend with nothing but the love and acceptance he felt for him.
"I never stopped looking for you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up, but even if you haven't missed me I missed you...."
Thinking. "Speaking." 381
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Post by euphie on Aug 29, 2022 17:17:09 GMT
Barbarous Yearning Wanderer Barb wasn't quite sure he believed his nose when he first caught it, in part because for all the time spent looking he hadn't counted on Blackburn still smelling the same as when they were pups, but smell he did and like the impulse that had led him on the last four year journey he could do little but to follow it. Trying all the while to steady his beating heart, to temper expectation, while also being glad he'd secured his own cave intent on exploring the valley thoroughly while he was here.
But nothing could prepare him to come to the end of that trail, to see Blackburn standing and casually eating some prey he'd caught, and to realize that the end of his long journey had come. Sure, he supposed, they had both changed irrevocably from who they were when they last met. But fate had a way from the beginning of pushing them together, just as it had brought them back together, and while their decisions were never made exclusively because of one another....it had been too often to dismiss as coincidence.
"Blackburn? It's....really you isn't it? You're a hard wolf to track down. I didn't even leave that long after you and yet I've only just caught up," Barb knew to be cautious of course, considering the trauma surrounding Blackburn having left the pack and the surprise no doubt of an old packmate tracking him down, but that didn't mean he had to hide the excitement in his voice or the involuntary way his tail moved so fast it might just rip off his haunches!
"It's Barb, Barbarous I mean, I've been looking for years now," if Barb were a more blunt wolf, more willing to hurt someone's feelings, he'd say the words that had weighed down his heart for years and put reluctance in his step.
You never said goodbye and it hurt
But he tended to be kind, especially in Blackburn's case, and so even though the words repeated on a loop in his mind he didn't say them.....at least not yet.
Thinking. "Speaking." 348
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Post by euphie on Aug 29, 2022 5:16:29 GMT
Barbarous
General Information Alias(es): Barb, Shadow Gender: Male(?) Age: 6 years Pack: n/a Rank: King of nothing
Appearance One would be forgiven for mistaking this wolf for a female on sight, demure in stature and behaviour as well as deceptively spry, from a distance and next to an actual female it would be all but impossible to tell the difference. But he is just that little bit too big, just slightly more muscular, and the demure behaviour is simply skittishness rather than feminine behaviour. Other than that he's almost indistinguishable from other wolves, if perhaps a little worn looking, as if he'd suddenly had to pack his entire life up and go on the most unexpected of journeys....
Reputation + Personality In the valley Barbarous is quite literally unknown, having travelled a great distance to get here, and he doesn't talk much about where he came from. Simply commenting that his pack exiled his best friend, that he's come to find him, and nothing seems to deter him very long from his stated goal. Barb's a friendly sort though, always happy to stop for a chat and hang out, even if inevitably his eyes gaze out to the horizon and soon his paws lead him onward.
Those conversations he does have are telling, however, of a great wisdom and even greater intelligence. He's travelled much of the world, after all, and he's seen a little bit of everything. Herbalism, spirituality, foreign lands and culture. To look at him makes it clear strength was never his suit, but in compensation, he's nurtured a brilliant and wise mind to rival even the eldest of wolves.
History Barb was born on a significant day, but ironically, it meant that few even knew he'd come to be. The same day his mother went into labour so too did the chieftains mate, and who cared about the pup of some low ranking wolf mates when someone much more important was born. It would set the stage for Barbarous' entire life, invisible and disregarded, but while many times in the future he would become bitter about it this was the one time he did not care.
Because it was fate, you see, that brought Barb and Blackburn into this world together.
It wasn't long until they met, about a month into their new lives, and while normally the heir to the chiefdom and a low ranking pair's pup would have little in common, fate seemed to have a different idea. First it was a bully, the chief's niece Talianne, she bullied Blackburn for the crime of his birth and Barb for the crime of.....not fitting in. For while all puppies look alike, squirmy barely furred mounds of flesh, Barb never really grew into anything strong or masculine. He simply was, and he'd never cared that he was born a boy but looked near identical to the girls, but Talianne did and bullied him relentlessly. Misery loves company as they say, however, and so the two would be victims found one another.
Neither was the most social, and outside of their respective families there were few they could call friend, which only served to draw the pair together. Their different births kept them apart at some points though, because Blackburn was going to be the chieftain one day no matter how Talianne whined about it, and while Barb was always fiercly proud of his friends progress there was always the little niggling worry in the back of his mind.
What happens when you raise a pup to only know might makes right?
Blackburn was by no means a bad person, he was kind and smart as well as strong, but Talianne's harassment never ceased as they aged for the heir and Barb lacked both the rank and strength to help in that regard. So he watched helplessly as the pair competed in everything, even when he tried to simply help Blackburn discover hobbies, there she would trot and join and once again rob what little peace he had managed to bring to the stressed wolf. Barb never gave up, not for the entire time they lived out their youth, but if a demon whispers in your ear long enough even the purest angel can be corrupted.
And then Barb watched as his angel fell, murder - however accidental - was a crime too great for even the chieftans son too be spared punishment. The exile was slow, slow enough Barb could make a show of throwing aside whatever respect she had gained to still be by his friends side, but one day she awoke and everyone was happy to inform him that Blackburn had gone. There was little thought after that, no goodbyes or really even preparation, he simply grabbed a last memento of their homeland (the fireweeds for which the valley was named) and exiled himself from heaven in order to join his demon. Even as days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into many many years.
Travelling was good for Barb, it helped to build his sorely neglected muscles, and as for his mind each tale of Blackburn he followed led him to new lands and packs and cultures he enjoyed. Each place he picked up tales and mementos, falling in love hundreds of times over and over again (with places but never the mate he should have long found by now), but each time he imagined settling down somewhere without the one who'd made Barb who he was there was no bearing it. Even as the tales of his lost Blackburn became more gruesome, as he learned to start tracking the creature through his unique killing style, he carried on.
And now, as the tales slow down and center, it looks at last as if Barbarous might finally be home.
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Post by euphie on Aug 11, 2022 21:13:04 GMT
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Cinders was beginning to forget what the open plains were like, it hadn't been more than a month since she'd left the forest, and yet that month was already a good chunk of her entire life. The cover of trees, and the easy prey, were the only ways she had remained alive all this time when fate had tried to declare her dead. But she'd clawed out of her grave kicking and screaming, determined out of pure defiance not to go down just yet, not until she at least had a chance to avenge all those she'd lost to the black and yellow demon.
But, even though she was young, Cinders wasn't a fool. She needed to do more than just survive, she needed to thrive, and in thriving she could become stronger and stronger. So that it was more than just a desperate and foolish hope, it was something she could reasonably accomplish, and in her heart she knew death would not be allowed to find her until she saw her goal to completion.
Of course, for all her planning, she'd never counted on being found before she was ready.
But she smelled him, or at least a wolf, and as a defensive creature her heckles raised as she got closer. He was waiting for her, the black and yellow demon, crouched down so she wouldn't see him and stumble right into his trap. But saw him she did, and while she had the trees for cover, she used the opportunity to crouch down and make the first strike - any other wolf would send her running but never this one.
So out she leaped from the brush with a roar of fury, carried by determination and adrenaline rather than muscle, as she clawed into his fur and sank her teeth into his neck intending to at least take a chunk of his neck out. This would be her only hit, but skilled enough and it might just kill him, so she put her whole soul into it.
Except, what she thought had been flesh was just fur, and with that horrifying revelation she had no time to react to bite deeper before the fur fell out and with it her perch on the beast. It would take half a second to get her bearings, no matter how agile she was, and meanwhile she would be defenseless beneath him and open for a strike.
fuck Everybody wants to rule the world
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Post by euphie on Jul 25, 2022 23:06:49 GMT
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever It was a slow thing, Cinders life as of late, which was ironic since to most pups her life would be seen as incredibly busy. She and ma-Timber were traveeling to meet others and gather resources for the Not-a-pack guild she ran. But when she woke up hungry, Timber was usually just returning with food, and while water was scarce to nonexistent if it could be found it would be. Cinders knew that all of that was simply what most pups expected, but she had been so long on her own, and to relearn what it was like to be able to trust someone to care for you.....some jaded part of her soul began to soften.
Timbers work would not go unrewarded, Cinders would need time of course, but she had vowed to become the best future guild member ever in return!
Not that it was hard, as Timbers expectations seemed to lump her in with every other pup ever, like stopping every few hours to rest even when she tried to insist she could keep going just fine or at least climb up on the elder wolfs back! But before she could open her mouth to complain about the inevitable, Timber had gotten serious and said for Cinders to stay and hide while she went off, and while she was certainly going to argue that Timber was off before she could even do anything but whine after her.
She was just debating some rebellion, to run off after her secret mother figure and help, when a scent hit her nose that she had strangely never forgotten. It wasn't the blood, or even the scent of strange wolves, for oddly enough those were normal given her past - it was the single familliar scent among them that wasn't Timber.
Kai
Cinders had never forgotten him after their initial meeting, and indeed she wanted to see him again, and knowing how he tended to be the thought he might be alone amongst obvious danger immediately pushed any thoughts of Timbers seriousness from her mind as she followed his scent like she'd never followed any other in her life. Soon she was following his voice as the scent grew stronger, and then she could see him from where she emerged from the woods, but she knew without even trying to prompt him that he couldn't see her. Because she supposed this is what she must have looked like, having just managed to escape with her life from the pack that killed her family, and she supposed that was just as well because she knew exactly what he needed.
"Mother has gone to rescue them Kai, and meanwhile i'm here to protect you from anything bad, I will personally put myself between you and anything that dares to come out of those woods okay?" she wasn't really expecting a response, given his state she wasn't sure he was capable of that, instead she approached him gingerly and with gentle nudges to bring his legs in and tuck him against the nearest rock she took the other side and front bu laying against him and angling her head to rest atop his own.
"I promise, no matter what happens, I won't let them take you," Everybody wants to rule the world
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Post by euphie on Jun 15, 2022 2:44:04 GMT
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Cinders had to admit, while she had planned exactly none of this encounter, she was growing to rather enjoy it. Which wasn't at all usual for her! Even other wolves who clearly had the best intentions, such as taking her back to a warm den and offering care, tended to just get on her nerves due to her own suscpicious nature. But not this one, she had great fun purposefully turning the offer back onto the one who'd made it and rushed to start herding him around, and she was smilling and wuffing with laughter at the series of cut off protests he kept making.
"We're going to go find your family, so they can keep you safe, it's dangerous to be alone after all!" It was a challenge to talk like she wasn't about to collapse into peals of laughter, partly because she couldn't ever recall having felt that way before, and while she was largely still amused there was a growing shock within her at how this lone pup seemed to be undoing weeks of rules and conditions she'd taught herself to follow and endure.
Was it really just because he was cute in his helplessness?
Except, as it turns out, he wasn't quite as helpless as she'd assumed. Because her pushes, while intentional, were not hard enough to move someone whose paws were planted in resistance. She'd only just moved her head up to figure out what was wrong, eyes actually flashing with concern, which only intensified with the sudden aggression in his stance and not to mention the loud protest that followed.
"Shit, sorry, did I do it wrong? It's been awhile since I've been able to watch mother and maybe I forgot how to do this?" Her words were genuinely concerned, and once more dangerously close to the truth of her own loner situation, but something about this not entirely helpless pup seemed to bring out the worst (or best?) in her!
"Hey! Don't be rude! I can take care of myself just fine thank you! Always have always will," Everybody wants to rule the world
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Post by euphie on Apr 4, 2022 0:35:03 GMT
The ones she had lost and the ones she Found And the ones who had loved her the most
Cinders was, perhaps painfully, aware that she didn't have the best social skills. And while the pup appeared older, he hadn't necessarily been forced to grow up as fast or as harshly as she had, so her aggressive opening had caught him off-guard. It was.....actually rather adorable, to meet someone her own age and unlike her entirely, he was just a normal pup who found an aggressive stranger frightening, and something about that pure innocence made Cinders want to protect it. The world took those like this pup and tended to ruin them, as she had learned firsthand, but what if for once it did not?
The thought was ridiculous of course, this pup was a stranger, and one she had threatened to boot! Yet the thought came to her unbidden, the lonliness she had only known for so long now reaching out to the first creature she'd set sights on who didn't appear a threat. It was so rare to see a lone pup around, and yes she knew lone didn't mean alone, and something about just....having a peer to talk to was scrambling her mind into complete disorder.
"I see you missed me being covered in blood and mud before, you can stop that, I don't have anyone with me. I should be doing that to you though!" the words were good natured, soft and attempting to undo some of the damage she had wrought with her....less than friendly introduction. He definitely didn't smell alone, but he was nervous enough that he was clearly alone at the moment, otherwise he'd of howled for help by now.
So guess there goes any chance of meeting a fellow loner.
"Stuff like this doesn't go away, it just sinks, you're not saving yourself by waiting," Cinders pointed out, gentle but teasing, still if this pup had a pack he probably was a bit....soft. Generally pack water was cleaner, less used by other animals, whereas she and those like her just took what they could get. Which, of course, brought them to the pup scolding her for being....exactly what he was right now!
"Well duh! Of course it's dangerous to be alone! Which is why I'm obviously going to be looking after you until we find your family! Where did you lose them?"
Even if it wasn't forever, just this once, Cinders wanted to not be alone
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Post by euphie on Feb 8, 2022 4:03:17 GMT
The ones she had lost and the ones she Found And the ones who had loved her the most
It was a risk, that was obvious from the beginning, no matter how bad things were in the already dried out neutral lands there would be consequences if someone found her trespassing on pack territory. But she didn't have a choice, and it hadn't purely been for the bath, but young as she was going even a day without any water to drink was to stare down the specter of death. In the neutral lands death was certain, there was at least a chance if she was careful on pack lands, and so she'd made the gamble to explore.
It wasn't all that surprising when she found water in her search, of course the best spots would have been claimed by those with the power to defend them from outsiders, and flush with success in her mission Cinders allowed herself to forget caution and just.....indulge. For a moment she was no longer an intruder on someone's lands, just a pup bathing and drinking after too long a fast, and it was as indulgent as it was glorious.
But then the snap of a twig cracked the silence like a howl, and she remembered how she had barked in her excitement, and suddenly she was no longer a pup but once more the fierce and spiteful creature seeking to live purely to defy fate. The hairs on her back raised, and the pup did her best to crouch down out of site, even when it was obvious the other creature had seen her and was addressing her.
And, as it would seem, was around her age!
"No, I'm not lost, I was looking for water and I finally found some," she offered, far less aggressively than she might have otherwise spoke, because this was the first time she had seen someone her age since her pack was killed and she didn't......she didn't want him to run off and didn't want to run away herself. How nice would it be to just.....exist with someone her own age and pretend for a minute everything was okay?
"You came for the water right? Go ahead and drink up, it probably belongs to you unlike me, it's just getting really dry in the neutral lands these days," Cinders continued as she backed away a bit to give him access without being too close to her, for perhaps both their sakes, and yet desperately hoping he'd play along. So she offered him the truth, that she didn't belong here as a loner, but despite that she didn't come with ill intentions.
Just the desire to survive that had likely driven one so young from his own home.
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Post by euphie on Jan 29, 2022 1:24:20 GMT
The ones she had lost and the ones she Found And the ones who had loved her the most
It was a little bit embarrassing, that after all the growing up she had done, Cinders could be so childishly stubborn. And yet her heart would not admit defeat, she could make herself look strong enough to ward off most and eventually truly become strong enough to fight those who still dared approach her, because it was the only option she had. Get strong or die, build walls about her heart to defend it from more pain, these all weren't thing she chose to do but necessities so she could live to spite the world which had tried to destroy her.
That being said all the reasons in the world couldn't stop the embarrassment.
So when the other wolf reassured her it only brought back that swelling in her chest, a desire she'd sworn to forever stamp down and never recognize again. But then, oh no, Timber gave her an excuse to indulge in those feelings and Cinders could practically feel that hard shell she'd surrounded herself in for protection start to crack. Because the guild was just loose enough she could bare it, attachment but not quite like before, and surely given the circumstances the wolves within such a group must be stronger than average and able to protect themselves. It was the closest she'd had to safety, the first hope in a dark and spiteful world, and Cinders latched upon it.
It's why she was quick to volunteer to get food after that, even if in hindsight she'd left her would be packmate unsure of if they had been abandoned, she'd needed to escape before she had a breakdown of tears and instead channel those pesky and useless emotions into something productive....like hunting! And so she caught another rabbit, and even though it was a great victory for someone so small, she was far too focused on proving herself as she returned it last and presented it to the other wolf who was (thankfully) still there.
"It's all the more reason we should stick together then!" she declared once they got back to speaking, for if there was a greater power in this universe it would seem their meeting was no accident, they had both known what it was like to live through losing everything and perhaps together they could find some amount of peace to those horrors. Timber was strong, she could teach Cinders to be strong as well, and together the pair of them could ensure this eclectic new pack of theirs never met the same awful fate.
Even as her heart desperately tried to regain it's cold and distant space.
"Of course, imma stay with you and together we're going to become strong enough this never happens again, it's a promise!" Cinders declared, innocent to the fact she had only made the promise to herself as children so often were, but in this case that was a good thing. For a moment, however brief it lasted, Cinders was a happy child who could think naïve thoughts once more.
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Post by euphie on Jan 28, 2022 17:45:09 GMT
The ones she had lost and the ones she Found And the ones who had loved her the most
For the first time since that fateful night, Cinders realized she was being seen, not just as the vulnerable young pup left tragically without a family but also the survivor of a trial by fire that had forged her into something far more than her looks would imply. It was terrifying and relieving all at once, allowing her to breathe finally and yet also causing her to feel strangely vulnerable, even Cinders herself didn't quite understand the changes she had endured and yet here she was showing them off to someone else who could judge her.
But, then again, wasn't the whole point that this one was different?
"But that's still a fifty percent chance in my favor! And in the process of looking like that I'll surely become strong too! So if anyone does try to fight me I can handle them," Cinders declared as, in the end, it was not judgment but advice that came her way. It was good advice she supposed, there wasn't any actual fault she could think of with it, and yet between the fact she already tended to avoid others and the knowledge that growing to look like her new friend would surely make her strong enough to take those that would find her and dare approach.
Cinders probably would have continued to argue, against any and all oppositions to her view even as they were perfectly logical, but thankfully for both canines sanity she got distracted. Talks of a guild, of the safety of a pack and it's resources without the need to risk forming and losing those bonds all over again, and even though she was rapidly growing attached to it's apparent leader that was still only one risk as opposed to.....many of them.
So Cinders set off to prove herself, one rabbit scored for herself had been impressive apparently, and so surely capturing another to feed her hungry companion would be even more so. Not that it was easy, which was why it was both a good challenge and demonstration of her skills, but in the end sheer stubborn determination filled the gap age and experience left as she trotted back with her second rabbit today.
"Like I said, my pack was attacked and killed and I'm the only real survivor, and so I'm alone in the world. But I'm afraid, afraid of joining a new pack and making connections and just losing it all over again, but I was thinking....maybe yours is distant enough that won't be as great a risk....maybe I could join and not have to worry about being hurt?" Cinders insides squirmed at being so openly vulnerable, but this was part of joining a pack again, there would have to be some vulnerability and affection even if she had sworn to never fall into that trap again. But it was still safer this way, she wouldn't be forced to view everyone as her family, and so if they died she wouldn't have to mourn them like those she had just lost.
Well except for the one who had brought her into the fold perhaps.
"It's not that I don't like you! I do! I just.....I don't want to grow to love too many people only to lose them all over again..."
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